Denim Blue Dragonfly

IMG-2879

 

A poem about mourning.

 

Denim Blue Dragonfly

 

I.

 

Heaven’s fairytale seduces even the most heartless

Damned atheist when his/her father falls

Asleep at the wheel and dies.

 

Futile efforts to convince oneself that “dad” would never

Be missed collapse into a blasted heath of ash.

Somehow, you mourn with devotion anyway.

 

Bruce and his German Clan cling to a yet stranger

Superstition. “They send butterflies and birds. Their

Eyes see

 

Through many. Look for them. You will feel

Their presence and be glad.” The whorish

Charlatán Sylvia Browne said something similiar.

 

I didn’t believe her either.

The morning they buried my dad,

A congregation of dragonflies

 

Choked the air above us. I tried

To feign strength, reading “And Death Shall

Have No Dominion.” But it did.

 

He is gone. I believe there is no heaven

 

To receive him.

 

He worse denim shirts and pants

When he left for work. The times

He hurt me most, he wore

 

Denim. He smelled of ozone

And Aquavelva, fire

And the chemicals

 

In freezers.

 

He is dead. I touched his cheek

Once upon the table where he

Died, second within his casket.

 

He was cold. There was no smell

To him at all. There was more than

Death in that shell.

 

It was empty.

 

Emptiness, palpable and almost

Tangible. I never fancied

Myself as the kind of man

 

That would leave things at a grave.

Occasionally, I bring him Chocolate

Pinwheels and leave them

 

Beside fading silk flowers

Just above the Indian motorbike

Medallion

 

My uncle surely placed before

He left that wet, buzzing

Morning.

 

I have screamed at his name-plate,

(we can’t afford a grave)

And cursed his name as a man

 

In a bathrobe from the tan, stucco

House nearby takes his vomit

Brown Dachshund by the cemetery

 

To piss. And what reason has

A dull blue dragonfly

To rest

 

Upon flowers that never knew life?

Why is it always there as I rage?

When my eyes spit and my

 

Breath staggers, it keeps

Vigil.

 

Buy the book here.

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